October 23, 2011

Blessed

I wrote this post almost exactly two months ago, after staying up late reading a blog about a family who had suddenly lost their baby due to a rare illness. I saved the post, and honestly had forgotten all about it. For some  reason, I just remembered it today. After re-reading it, I've decided I should go ahead and publish it. It was written in one of those moments where you feel like your eyes are opened and you feel so incredibly grateful for everything you have. For me, those moments don't come as often as they should. But I want to remember how I felt that night.

I hear people say that they are blessed all the time. I say it all the time, too. And I mean it. But do I truly feel it?  I know it's true,  and it's probably obvious from an outsiders perspective.  I may not have every high tech gadget, or own an expensive pair of high heels, have the perfect face or body, or an impeccable wardrobe. But I have the things that matter. I have the things that are important. I have blessings. So why is it so hard to be satisfied with what I have? I have begun to notice something about myself. When I want something, I want it immediately, and when I get it, I may be happy for a short while, but I eventually find something else I can't live without. I don't even consider myself a particularly materialistic person, or hard to please, but  the truth is I am. I think a lot of us are. I have so much, how could I possibly want more? Somehow I do. Because I'm searching for material objects to fill a void only the Lord can fill, and it never works. But tonight, the Lord has put a thankfulness in my heart. Tonight I am just grateful. Grateful for the health of my baby boy. Grateful for the health, and amazing heart of my husband. Grateful for the solidity and happiness of my marriage. Grateful for the health of my whole family. Grateful that I have a new baby growing strong in my tummy. Grateful for my health. Grateful for being able to get pregnant so easily. Grateful for our warm home, food in our fridge and enough money to pay the bills. And it's all enough. It's so much more than enough, and it's so incredibly humbling. So many people out there are suffering; enduring more than they should ever be expected too. Hurting in ways that no one else can understand or comfort. But, they can be grateful too, that we have a God who promised His enduring grace, mercy and love no matter what this fallen world burdens us with. He will provide, and protect us, if we follow Him. I am grateful too, that when we do fall on hard times, we will be able to look to the Lord for comfort, and we will be comforted. So as I go to bed tonight, I don't have to worry that for every blessing I count, there is a chance of it disappearing. I will just be grateful for all that I have been given right now, and be able to trust and rely on the Lord, whatever comes. I guess that is the only blessing that I need.


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